I wish I was an expert on love.
But after seven years of marriage – nope, I’m definitely not an expert.
I also wish that I could say that I wrote our song “Two Becoming One” for my own wedding. I wish that it was a grand tale of inspiration springing from the bliss of young love. But again, nope. I’m sure Emily would have loved me to write her a song for our wedding, that’s just simply not what happened.
I often tell folks that, during my engagement, I was just too excited to sit still and write a song. It wasn’t until a couple years into marriage, when things were less exciting, that this song barreled out of me.
That often gets a couple of snarls and chuckles. Snarls from people who have never been married. Chuckles from those who have.
It is a little funny, but as much as I don’t want to admit it, it’s also true. I’m pretty sure I started writing this song after Emily I got into a fight.
I know that might take a little bit of the gooey feeling associated with this song. And I’m okay with that. This is a love song, but it’s also a war song. It’s a song that helps me remember why love is worth fighting for. It’s a song that helps me remember that there is a point to my marriage beyond my personal bliss.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the Church.
Paul is right. This is profound! Through my marriage, I have the opportunity to display Christ’s love to the world. Just like there are evidences of God all over creation (Romans 1:20), this new creation – this taking two people and making them one – also bears witness to something amazing about Christ Himself. Ideally, my marriage has the potential to display Christ’s great love for His Church. His desire to be near Her, to cherish Her, to protect Her, to know Her, and to give all of Himself to Her.
Even His willingness to die for Her.
No, I’m not a love expert. Time and time again, I fall way short of loving Emily the way that Christ loves His Church. But this mystery and this mission given to me from God for my marriage spurs me on. It reminds me of the true fight for love. Love is not fighting for my personal bliss, love is laying my life down for her.
Greater love has no one than this; to lay one’s life down for his friends.
Praying that Christ’s love will be on display in your marriages and that we would all remember together that this love is worth fighting for.